leadership and the library.

Whooaaa there look at those stacks of book in the background. It appears as though Kayla is in the library. Well my friends, I am pleased to tell you, I am.

This is how gross my planner is this week. Check box after check box. I even had to go color coded. Not so much had to as there were cool colored pencils at work that I felt compelled to use. Last two weeks of school are a little hectic.

Now observe the stark contrast. This is the week after finals. Colorful. Bright. Hope.
If you are trying to read what it says backwards, yes, straight up it says, "cuddle Fiance. ALL DAY." This picture also says, "Kayla you can't get away with drinking that much diet coke and not crest white strip it up every now and again." Put it on my list.

Lately I have been mulling around the definition of a good leader, seeing how I will be in a position of leadership in Ukraine. This is what I have come up with so far:

• A leader isn't intimidated by the fluent Russian and awesomeness of others. A good leader knows how to appreciate and utilize the talents of others to improve our overall experience.
• A good leader doesn't have to have the upper hand on everything, a good leader knows the strengths of others and delegates out authority. Everyone is important.
  
• A good leader has a vision, and shares this vision with the group.
• A good leader has a plan, and is willing to work with others to make a super plan.
• A good leader leads by example
• A leader has the power to bring people together, to unite them in a common cause, to spread the passion that she feels to others.
• Leadership is the ability to influence, not tyranny
• Leadership is staying calm in the tough situations, and being strong enough to have others lean on you when times get tough, a leader inspires confidence.
• Integrity. Character. Kindness.
  

Any other thoughts? I'd be glad to hear them.

I am so excited to start this new chapter in my life called living in Europe and sleeping on a sweet pullout bed.

and now I am off to go work for 5 hours.

luvvvs,
Kayla

kind of a soap box blog post

Clean checks suck. I must have been disillusioned. Mainly by the fact my first semester I am pretty sure Brandi did all the cleaning. And I was left with the lame stuff that I couldn't mess up. And now I am the Brandi, having a spazz attack because it looks like no one has ever cleaned the toilet before.

I read something sad today. I follow many blogs ,and in one of the blogs an entertaining beautiful creative girl told her readers that she is finally getting help for body image issues that she has been fighting her whole life. My heart sank, because someone that I think is so amazing to me has to deal with something that is so hard. And I started to think about the pressure that we as women have to live up to this impossible ideal.... We are never thin enough, smart enough, or talented enough, and the media that we are bombarded with relentlessly reminds us of this. We are being asked to be paradoxes that can't exist, and with the drive that we have to better ourselves, we end up comparing and beating ourselves down, saying I have too much of this and not enough of that.

I keep a picture in the bathroom where my roomies and I get ready that reads, " If only you could see yourself the way I see you, you would know of your infinite worth." The Savior is in the background. To Him we are good enough, to Him we are worth something, and if we come closer to him we will feel his infinite love come into our lives. I am far from perfect in this aspect, so maybe I am writing this for myself, but maybe too that someone might remember that they are never alone.,and that they are fabulous and lovely, and with the hope that someday we can all look in the mirror and smile because we know who we are, daughters of our Heavenly Father, and that we wouldn't be here if we weren't good, if we weren't worth something.

scrub you clean

WE HAVE OUR DIET COKE

WE HAVE OUR IPODS CHARGED AND READY

WE HAVE.... A CHAOTIC MESS OF AN APARTMENT...

AND WHITE GLOVE TOMORROW.

I BOUGHT A MOP TODAY... AND MAGIC ERASERS.. AND TONIGHT THE GIRLS OF THAT APARTMENT THAT WE LIVE IN ARE GOING TO GO ON A MAD CLEANING RAGE

and I just texted Fiance and said, Honey, we have a mop. He is super happy probably. He is happy whenever I do anything that resembles domesticness.

Some of the best memories happen during white glove all nighters... no sleep.. random fumes from various cleaners in the air...

don't believe me??

first semester cleaning party. 5 AM.
WATCH IT.

fabulous women. fabulous headwear.

From what I have learned thus far about Russian and Ukrainian women is that they are fabulous. The strut around in heels in the crazy snow and never leave the house without lipstick- drunks don't dare harass them because they are intimidating and you don't just don't mess. Many believe that it is their right and privilege to have the opportunity to stay at home and raise their babies. Mainly that appreciate all that is feminine. As do I. I cannot wait to live and learn among them.


Also I appreciate the wearing of scarves on my head. As I did this morning. So, because I was convinced of it's adorableness, I found some ladies who shared my same feelings on the matter.

Jackie Kennedy & Audrey Hepburn.
the authors of all that is fabulous.

As well as my favorite actress Rachel McAdams.

TA DAAAA

Deactivation

I deactivated my facebook. I will reiterate the sentiment here.

Dear Facebook,
We need a break. Homework needs more attention now, and I just don't have time for you the way I used to. Maybe when things get less hectic we can give it another go... its just.. right now I can't give you the attention that you need. It's not you. It's me. And by me I mean finals week.
Ok bye,
Kayla

No matter what I get on my computer to do, my fingers start to type facebook. They have been trained. Why do I even like facebook? I think it's my innate womanly nature that likes to check things. Check boxes off lists. Check cookies in the oven. Check to see if the door is locked, ect.

On a less stupid note, I have severe back pain. And have decided that I should block web md while I'm blocking things... It happens like this; you are all, "Hmmm why do I have back pain?" And then after a glance over the Web MD symptom checker you are all, " HOLY CRAP I'M GUNNA DIE I HAVE PANCREATIC CANCER AND KIDNEY STONES AND MY TIME IS LIMITED MY LIFE BE LIKE CHARLIE/A WALK TO REMEMBER AND I HATE THAT MOVIE"......

Maybe I would feel a little better right now if my Doctor didn't come across as a crack addict all shakey and shifty eyed. Well anywhooo it's the last time I will walk in anywhere and pee in any little cuppies if the dude is just going to hand me some pain killers.

Well anyways hopefully I live to marry Elliott because I love that man and we had a wonderful thanksgiving together... minus him wondering why his toothpaste ended up in the shower. I will tell you why. You brush your teeth in there. You could spit all over if you wanted to and it wouldn't be like those days where you are late for class and you are rushing and then spit toothpaste in your hair, because you get out and ALL IS CLEAN. Minty fresh alllovvvvaa. Not really, just your mouth, but it's just a kill all your birds with one shower kind of a deal. And by birds I don't mean actual birds, for those literal folks out there.

Late List of Random Things I am Thankful For:
(In no particular order)

*Jeggings- Are they jeans? No. Are they yoga pants? No.Can I do the splits in them? Yes, I checked. I hate jeans. Jeggings are the best form of pants that has ever happened to me.
* A democracy. Even with Obama trying to cast a socialist tint on all. I appreciated the freedom to worship how I choose and be whoever I want to be.
* My new found ability to sleep through anything. My roomates are NOT QUIET. Butttt I love them.
* Elliott's lovely family. For letting me crash there during break on account of me having a lack of bedroom at my casa.
* Elliott. Even if we have to live off potatoes and love. I could do that.
* Being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
* My family. Even if my brother lives in a hole and my sister took all the tall genes.
* pie pie pie pie mashed potatoes

are we there yet.

212 days 20 hrs and 16 minutes till I am married to Elliott.
there are around 54 days untill I leave for Ukraine
30 days till this semester is over
i have to go to math 206 exactly 7 more times
and only 3 more days till I get to see my Fiance again

I think a large paper chain is in order.

bucket list

There are things I want to do.
And I am going to add to this list whenever I think of something that I MUST do before I'm cold in the ground.

• Travel on camel back through the desert Lehi status
• Run a marathon
• Go to Jerusalem and walk through the places where Jesus once walked
• Watch an Opera
• Visit Versailles