dirty

advice from a straight up janitor:

• The carpet buffer is a beast that can't be tamed. Do not get confident and think that you are a legit carpet buffer, that is when it will attack and try to take your life. You need to have a healthy fear of the buffer. ALWAYS.
• The cup holder in the ride on vaccuum? It's for a diet coke. Obviously.
• Speed 3 is only for after people have cleared the building. Unless you want to explain why you have runover an unsuspecting person with a 300 pound ride on vaccuum.
• Don't try to siphon out the dirty hose water with your mouth. Ever.
• Put that mango scented spray on EVERYTHING.ALLTHETIME.
• If you want to watch a play rehearsal, then pretend like you are cleaning the arms of the theater seats.
• Don't let the wheel of the upholsterer get caught and fall down an elevator shaft.

The End.